Lovers of Words
Lexiphi ("Lovers of Words") you know. . .

Like, you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. . .

Or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. .. . Then it hit me. . . Etc.). Well, here are some for you to enjoy:

To write with a broken pencil is . . . Pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . Take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar . .. . Got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes .. . . Was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . Free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . Dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist . . . You can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . And a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if .. . . You can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is . . . Hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center . . . You've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . Resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . .. Jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; . . . It is two tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, . . . it's your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry . . .. It goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . Was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory . . . Which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be . .. . Exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . She thought she'd dye.